Why You Just Can't “Get Over It”
For many of us, our early experiences with emotions involved us being told to "get over it" in one way or another.
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Hilary Jacobs Hendel | The Change Triangle
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Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- May 8
- 3 min
For Mothers with Children Who Struggle
Being a mother is the hardest job in the world even when things go smoothly. When you have a child who suffers the hardest job gets harder.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Apr 7
- 6 min
The Danger of Escalating Anger
I was on the subway and I witnessed a needless escalation of anger that ended with somebody being punched in the face. I was shaken and...
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Mar 12
- 4 min
3 Reasons Why It’s Scary to Feel Good About Yourself
In the kind of psychotherapy I practice called AEDP, we often focus on feel-good emotions like joy and pride. Deepening the experience of...
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Feb 8
- 4 min
Detaching with Love and Openheartedness
My teenagers' dark and surly moods, my husband's anxiety, my mother's rare show of displeasure, and my father's anger and frugality, all...
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- May 9, 2022
- 4 min
“He’s an Idiot!” Considering the Judgments We All Make
"He's an idiot," my father would snap when someone didn't do something the way he wanted. It didn't bother me then. But now I realize my...
Hilary Jacobs Hendel and Joanne Silver Jones
- Mar 7, 2022
- 4 min
The Emotional Toll of Traumatic Brain Injury
The emotional challenges following a traumatic brain injury are many.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Feb 7, 2022
- 3 min
Four Ways to Engage with the Change Triangle Tool for Emotional Health
Most people have never had any emotions education at all. In 2022, this is an astounding fact. As a result of the lack of education in...
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Jan 10, 2022
- 4 min
22 Crucial Things to Know About Emotions for Emotional Health
Our dysfunctional society fails to educate us on emotions. Here are a few basics to start you on your way to more knowledge.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Aug 8, 2021
- 5 min
Pick Your Poison: Guilt or Resentment
For most of us the “guilt versus resentment choice” will rear its difficult head. When those times arise, here are some tips that might.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Jul 5, 2021
- 4 min
5 Important Things to Know About Toxic Shame
Hilary Jacobs Hendel explains the difference between healthy and toxic shame. The Change Triangle tool guides healing.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- May 7, 2021
- 5 min
From Confusion to Clarity
(The personal reflections on confusion quoted throughout this article were generously shared by "Michele." Thank you, Michele.) "I often...
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Apr 8, 2021
- 4 min
3 Reasons to Hold Hope for Healing Emotional Pain
It's hard to hold hope that healing and transformation are possible especially if nothing has helped so far. Here's why I hold hope.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Mar 9, 2021
- 5 min
The Important Difference Between Anxiety and Fear
Anxiety and fear are words often used interchangeably. But they are not the same! Distinguishing between anxiety and fear is crucial.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Jan 8, 2021
- 5 min
4 Ways to Increase Joy: Putting the Science of Joy into Everyday Practice
Joy is one of the seven core emotions on the Change Triangle. Joy, like all core emotions, has a particular feeling in the body, although...
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Nov 12, 2020
- 5 min
How to Release Sadness: Lessons from Experiential Psychotherapy
Did you ever have the feeling that you were sad and needed a good cry, but you couldn’t get the tears out? I certainly have.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Oct 8, 2020
- 6 min
When Buried Anger Leads to Depression & How To Heal
When someone is depressed, it's worth asking what other emotions they might have buried deep inside that need to be dealt with.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Sep 10, 2020
- 5 min
The Key to Inner Balance
For inner equilibrium and harmony, we have to balance our use and expenditure of energy.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Aug 11, 2020
- 3 min
A New Way to Understand & Treat Depression: Part 2 The Story of Phil and His Grief
When someone we love dies, sadness is the healthy biological response to our loss. We cannot just ‘get over it’ or ‘suck it up’.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Jul 11, 2020
- 5 min
A New Way To Understand and Treat Depression and Suicidal Thoughts: Part 1 - The Story of Alex
Think depression is only about a flaw in chemistry? Think again.
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