Hilary Jacobs Hendel | The Change Triangle

We greatly benefit from understanding which emotions are affecting us and why. By feeling it through and thinking it through, we get the best outcomes. When we work the Change Triangle, we get calmer, more curious, more compassionate, and we gain clarity.

Anger happens to all of us. When we get angry, we must work with it so we don't suppress it. Suppressing anger makes us depressed and/or...

Consider these scripts designed to soften defenses so you can relate more authentically with emotions in mind.

Perfectionism gives us the illusion of control in the midst of emotions that feel out of control, especially when we’re young.

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom . - Aristotle Lillian, a patient of mine, didn’t know who she truly was. She lacked a...

For many of us, our early experiences with emotions involved us being told to "get over it" in one way or another.

Being a mother is the hardest job in the world even when things go smoothly. When you have a child who suffers the hardest job gets harder.

I was on the subway and I witnessed a needless escalation of anger that ended with somebody being punched in the face. I was shaken and...

In the kind of psychotherapy I practice called AEDP, we often focus on feel-good emotions like joy and pride. Deepening the experience of...

My teenagers' dark and surly moods, my husband's anxiety, my mother's rare show of displeasure, and my father's anger and frugality, all...

"He's an idiot," my father would snap when someone didn't do something the way he wanted. It didn't bother me then. But now I realize my...

The emotional challenges following a traumatic brain injury are many.

Most people have never had any emotions education at all. In 2022, this is an astounding fact. As a result of the lack of education in...

Our dysfunctional society fails to educate us on emotions. Here are a few basics to start you on your way to more knowledge.

For most of us the “guilt versus resentment choice” will rear its difficult head. When those times arise, here are some tips that might.

Hilary Jacobs Hendel explains the difference between healthy and toxic shame. The Change Triangle tool guides healing.

(The personal reflections on confusion quoted throughout this article were generously shared by "Michele." Thank you, Michele.) "I often...

It's hard to hold hope that healing and transformation are possible especially if nothing has helped so far. Here's why I hold hope.

Anxiety and fear are words often used interchangeably. But they are not the same! Distinguishing between anxiety and fear is crucial.

Joy is one of the seven core emotions on the Change Triangle. Joy, like all core emotions, has a particular feeling in the body, although...