Don’t Forget Excitement: An Overlooked Core Emotion

A young artist came to therapy feeling blocked and “lazy.” As we explored, she noticed a flutter in her chest when describing a new creative idea. When I gently asked her to stay with that sensation, tears came. She realized that her feelings of excitement had always been paired with criticism from a parent who feared risk. Together, we honored her excitement as a core emotion—not something to fear, but to trust. Over time, she began creating again, not by forcing herself, but by reconnecting with her natural inner spark.

Defenses and shame block access to excitement and the open-hearted state of the authentic self

A father of two came for emotion coaching feeling drained and disconnected at home. I asked him to let his mind roam free and to share what thoughts or ideas excited him these days. He lit up describing a dream he had to coach his daughter’s soccer team. When I invited him to notice what he was feeling in his body as he connected to this desire, he grew quiet and said, “It feels selfish.”

"Can you say more?" I asked.

"I'd feel too guilty spending my time on something that doesn't earn money or isn't a chore. Plus what if my daughter wouldn't want that. I never liked my father coming to games because he was critical."

Growing up, his own excitement was dismissed as impractical.

But now, in the present moment, we stayed with the glimmers of excitement as he felt it physically, allowing it space to bloom. Using deep belly breathing to ride the wave of excitement, he allowed the energy to build to its crest, infusing him with energy as he imagined being on the soccer field with the team.

Over time, he came to feel more comfortable experiencing excitement. He appreciated this emotion as a longing for joyful connection and the guilt decreased over time. He signed up to coach—and felt more present, playful, and alive. Sometimes, reclaiming excitement is the doorway back to ourselves and our children.

Reconnecting with excitement by bypassing defenses and working through guilt.

When we talk about emotions, especially in the context of healing and therapy, we often focus on the painful ones—grief, fear, anger. But there’s one core emotion that tends to get overlooked, even though it’s vital for a full and vibrant life: excitement.

Yes, excitement is a core emotion—just like sadness or fear. And yet, many people feel confused or even ashamed when they experience it. Some of us were taught to “tone it down” or not get our hopes up. We have learned to disavow our excitement. Over time, we become disconnected from our aliveness, creativity, and joy.

In my work, I’ve seen how difficult it can be for people to stay with the sensations of excitement. It can feel overwhelming, unfamiliar, or even dangerous—especially if early life taught us that shining brightly led to rejection or punishment. So, we learn to shut it down. We distract ourselves. We numb out. We don’t even realize we’re doing it.

But when we allow ourselves to feel excitement—to ride the wave of energy and possibility—it reconnects us to who we truly are. It fuels our passions, our relationships, our sense of meaning.

So next time you feel a spark of enthusiasm, notice it. Stay with it. Let it move you. Because feeling excitement is not frivolous—it’s essential. It means you’re alive.