Hilary Jacobs Hendel | The Change Triangle
®
Empowering you to navigate the tough emotions that parenting brings.
Parents Have Feelings, Too is a practical guide that teaches parents how to understand and process their emotions – and how to teach this valuable, life-changing skill of emotional intelligence to the next generation. It’s a book for parents with kids of all ages. Think of it as your “emotions playbook” for family wellness.
Available September 23, 2025.
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More About Parents Have Feelings, Too
This practical guide teaches parents how to understand and process their emotions–and how to teach this valuable, life changing skill to the next generation.
Parents are stressed. It’s not uncommon for modern-day pressures and expectations to compromise a parent’s emotional well-being, causing them to lose control of their emotions and lash out.
But when parents let their anger and frustration lead to outbursts, the fallout can have lasting effects on their children, leaving them anxious, insecure, and hurt by the words and actions of their overwhelmed caregivers.
Parents desperately need real, actionable, long-lasting advice that helps them process their emotions in a healthy and productive way. In Parents Have Feelings, Too, psychotherapists Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW and Dr. Juli Fraga provide the tools parents need to understand and effectively work with their own potent feelings, breaking the chain of intergenerational trauma, and passing along this knowledge to their children to create a generation of emotionally mature people.
Parents Have Feelings, Too includes:
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Practical strategies to help parents process their feelings
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Stories and examples
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Strategies that build confidence and emotional know-how in their children.
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Strategies that break the intergenerational transfer of trauma so parents can raise emotionally healthier people who can thrive amidst the many challenges of being human.
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Expert insights and insight-building exercises that support parents on their emotional journey
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Shows parents how to reach the open-hearted state of the authentic self
Parents have feelings. And when they understand what they are, where they’re coming from, and how to process them, they become equipped to not only enhance their parenting skills but also help their children understand and process their own emotions.
More Early book reviews
"Finally, a sophisticated, systematic way for us parents to deal with our emotions when we are dealing with our children. What a relief to read a book that goes into depth on how to understand and handle the inevitable overwhelming feelings triggered by the frustrations of child-rearing. Clearly written and full of real-life examples, this book goes to the heart of the matter. All parents could benefit from this helpful instruction into how to welcome and process our feelings instead of acting them out in ways we regret. You’ll be a better parent and a happier person for reading this book."
Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, clinical psychologist and author of New York Times bestseller, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
“Parents Have Feelings, Too helps you understand yourself in deep and healing ways. The more you come to know yourself and feel whole, the more potential you have to parent with an open heart. This opens new possibilities for you and your child”
- Catherine Birndorf, MD, Reproductive Psychiatrist, Co-Founder & CEO, The Motherhood Center
"You don't have to have children to gain profound insights from Hendel and Fraga's Parents Have Feelings, Too. The authors gracefully and skillfully tackle the complex and difficult world of emotions, breaking them down into easily digestible explanations, practical visualizations, and compelling real-life examples. I implemented these insights in my coaching practice the very first day I read it. In addition to parents, I recommend it to all therapists and coaches who want to learn more about navigating emotions and building conscious awareness in ourselves and our clients."
--Orenda Fink, Jungian coach and author of The Witch's Daughter
Early book reviews
"Parenting has always been a challenge; so much so that for thousands of generations, a host of ‘caregiving’ practices have been invented – all of them distributing the caregiving burden across multiple adults – aunties, grandparents, trusted neighbors. Our modern nuclear or single parent families face unique demands, often along with a poverty of relationships. The result is exhausting challenges that elicit powerful emotions which can disrupt and distort communication and connection with our children. Parents Have Feelings, Too by Hilary Jacobs Hendel and Juli Fraga helps parents navigate these challenges. The authors introduce us to concrete tools such as the Change Triangle and the Four Capacities (calm, connection, curiosity, and compassion) to help identify, validate, and work through our emotions. This is an empowering book. The practical exercises, real-life examples, and research-backed insights are a rare combination in a readable book. Highly recommended for parents or any adult seeking to better understand themselves and others."
—Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.
Principal of The Neurosequential Network
Author, with Oprah Winfrey of the New York Times #1 Bestseller “What Happened to You: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing”
"Parents Have Feelings, Too explores the emotional lives of parents–especially the often-overlooked experiences of fathers. Hendel and Fraga offer practical, judgment-free steps to help caregivers move through guilt and shame, while making sense of the complex emotions that come with raising children."
—Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space
"A rare gem: a compassionate, science-based guide to navigating the emotional journey of parenting… This book offers more than tools; it offers the possibility of transformation."
—Diana Fosha, PhD. Developer of AEDP, editor of Undoing Aloneness: the Transformation of Suffering into Flourishing: AEDP 2.0
"I've long believed that the secret to happiness -- in parenting and life -- is learning how to be unhappy. When we can recognize, tolerate, and recover from our unpleasant emotions, we can effectively and empathically respond to our children instead of freaking out or falling apart. Parents Have Feelings, Too teaches readers exactly how to do this in a compassionate, accessible, and non-judgmental way. If, like so many of us, you struggle to feel your feelings without being overwhelmed by them, this is the book for you. It will teach you the skills and strategies that will change your life and your parenting for the better, forever."
—Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids
"Parents Have Feelings, Too is the book every overwhelmed parent didn’t know they needed. As a mom of four, I know firsthand how easy it is to put everyone else’s emotions first—and how hard it is to make space for our own. This book is revolutionary in the way it gives permission to feel, to pause, and to grow. It offers practical tools that help parents not just ‘keep it together,’ but understand what’s really going on inside. And in doing so, it empowers us to raise emotionally aware, resilient kids. A must-read for every caregiver who’s ever felt like they were one meltdown away from falling apart."
—Danielle Sherman-Lazar, author of Mothers Are Made and It’s Okay to Not Be Okay: Adults Get Big Feelings Too
Below is a growing resource section
to complement the book
Change Triangle Worksheet
