top of page

Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises that help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self.


In It’s Not Always Depression, psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel presents readers with a unique and pragmatic tool she calls The Change Triangle.


The Change Triangle is a map—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self.


Working the Change Triangle is the step-by-step process at the heart of Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), a therapeutic method that teaches patients to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, anxiety, and guilt) that prevent them from being in touch with their core emotions (joy, anger, sadness, fear, and excitement).


In allowing ourselves to fully experience core emotions, we move toward an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. Through moving, persuasive stories of working the Change Triangle with her own patients, Hendel teaches us how to apply these principles to our everyday lives.

US Book


UK Book


“It’s not Always Depression is the most innovative and well-grounded self-help title on depression and beyond I’ve read in years.


The Change Triangle may prove an efficient therapeutic tool for both patients and psychotherapists to combat psychological problems by reconnecting the self to its core emotions and basic physical reactions.


Moreover, Hilary Jacobs Hendel’s writing is lucid and accessible, which makes her method as clear and practical as you can get in self-help titles.”

- Mateusz Chaberski, Acquisitions Editor at Jagiellonian University Press

More Reviews & Testimonials:

5.0 out of 5 stars everyone should read this book
Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2023
Verified Purchase
"Clearly written. Perfect & extremely helpful for non-therapists, too." -Amazon review by K. Alford


"Important Book to Read. This is a must read for anyone who has emotions, and especially for anyone suffering from depression and anxiety. I believe the information in this book should be required to learn in every family. It has cleared up so much for me and I now can feel joy instead of constant depression and anxiety." - Amazon review by Smarti, Jan 26, 2021


“Your book is excellent! One of the best psychology/self-help books I have ever read and has already helped me a lot. I can tell it speaks from effective experience and authority on the subject." -Jeffrey Li, Business Man

"This book is one of those life-changing books that I believe every human on the planet should read. I loved it so much, after I read the book, I bought the digital version and the audiobook . This book needs to be read and reread a second and third time until the content is digested and settled into your consciousness. I can’t rave enough about this book and I urge you to go out and get yourself a copy. Easily one of my top three books I’ve ever read! I strongly believe it is essential reading for everyone and anyone who wants to live an emotionally healthy and fulfilling life. I can’t thank the author @hilaryjacobshendel enough for writing this book"

-Larry @lavidamango via Instagram

"Essential life skills for all of us. Compassionate, clear and accessible. So glad I found this!" -Ms. K. Sparks, Amazon Reviewer

"This is one of the most excellent books to read and to listen to. A rounded theory and daily help to find new paths to recovery from traumatic, relationship problems and depressive issues in your life." -Peter Att, Amazon Reviewer

To read more reviews, click here.

To read professional reviews, click here.

More Reviews & Testimonials:


“Your book is incredibly insightful as a road map for beginning to pinpoint and understand emotions and their source.  How common it is for most of us to ruminate or push forward without understanding the source of one's feelings or actions.  This book is particularly powerful as you offer a visual map, the change triangle, to organize the diagnosis and source of feelings and corresponding actions.” -Tom

"I am currently listening to your audiobook and it’s definitely in my top most influential and helpful books."

-Maria Spiotta Dentino, CAI, Promoting Change and Inspiration since 1979.

"Hilary's book is such a great explanation of how to deal with your emotions in healthy ways and in doing so, we can become more integrated, authentic and whole. Her description of "The Change Triangle" is a concise takeaway that I think about almost daily--how letting ourselves feel emotions is healthy rather than moving away from emotions, illustrated as living in the bottom point of a triangle rather than moving toward a defensive corner or a shame/anxiety corner. Emotional education is sorely needed and I am so grateful for all the education Hilary provided in such an accessible way!!"

-Anna Schmonzie

"5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing reading with exercises for daily life. This book brings you tools for self growth.
Easy to read, great thematic and it comes with exercises to delve into your mind and evolve on your self awareness. 
-Team Sporty.

5 stars! "For a man in his 40s this book is an eye opener. It really isn’t about depression." - Amazon review, Mower Mike

5 stars "Emotional education 101! Extremely helpful, so well-written, highly recommend." - Amazon review, Jade Spade

bottom of page