defenses

Welcome to Hilary's Blog

It's Not Always Depression

Feb 8, 20234 min

Detaching with Love and Openheartedness

My teenagers' dark and surly moods, my husband's anxiety, my mother's rare show of displeasure, and my father's anger and frugality, all...

Feb 1, 20206 min

Healing Chronic Boredom

Rachel grew up in a chaotic household. When I met her as a young adult, she didn’t seem to care much about anything.

Oct 15, 20184 min

11 Signs You're Out of Touch With Emotions

Most people are uncomfortable with emotions. And that makes sense to me. So many of us have been raised in an emotion-phobic culture.

Nov 16, 20163 min

Why Am I Uncomfortable Getting Close To People?

Many of us as children or adolescents shared our feelings with the “wrong” person - someone whose response was to humiliate or reject us.

Jan 10, 20162 min

Why We Hide

"We hide by avoiding things that will change us...We hide by asking for reassurance. We hide by letting someone else speak up and lead."

Dec 16, 20153 min

Want to Feel More Authentic? Get to Know Your Defenses!

All of us use defenses to avoid emotions. In fact, defenses are developed for precisely that reason—to avoid painful feelings.

Oct 27, 20153 min

The Unattainable Standard for Men

Men don't typically feel free to be emotionally honest and authentically vulnerable for many good reasons.