Podcasts & Interviews

Hilary Jacobs Hendel breaks down why most of us misunderstand emotions and how that holds us back. She unpacks why anxiety, shame, and guilt often sit on top of deeper feelings like sadness and anger, and how the Change Triangle helps access what’s underneath. We get into how emotions are physiological, not intellectual, and why healing begins by learning to feel, not fix. This is an education in the language of emotion—one most of us never got.

Parenting brings up so many difficult emotions like: disgust, disappointment, anger and more. Layer on top the shame parents experience for having those feelings! Two mental health professionals, Hilary Hendel and Julie Fraga, authors of Parents Have Feelings Too, join us to normalize the full emotional landscape of parenting and offer tools for moving forward in loving and constructive ways.

If you have ever lost your cool with your kids and then felt the crushing wave of guilt that comes sweeping in after—this episode is for you.

A profound conversation on emotions, parenting, and breaking cycles of suppression. Explore Hilary’s groundbreaking “Change Triangle” tool and her new book Parents Have Feelings Too, which equips parents to better understand their own emotions so they can support their children’s. Learn why emotions are not “good” or “bad” but vital information, how unprocessed feelings fuel anxiety, depression, and addictions, and why modeling emotional fluency is the most powerful gift parents can offer.

Parenting can bring deep joy—but also guilt, shame, rage, grief, and more. So what do we do with all those big feelings? In this powerful episode, Julie and Ginger sit down with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of It’s Not Always Depression, and Dr. Juli Fraga, psychologist and parenting educator, to discuss their brand-new book, Parents Have Feelings, Too: Using the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (out September 23, 2025).

This book is a practical, research-backed, and compassion-filled guide to help parents recognize, work through, and grow from their emotions. Together, we explore how understanding your own emotionallandscape—through tools like the Change Triangle and the 4 Cs of Open-Heartedness—can break intergenerational patterns and build emotional intelligence in both you and your children.

From the hidden power of disappointment to how to befriend your defenses, this episode is full of insight, practical strategies, and affirming reminders that your feelings matter too.

Even if you’re not a parent, this episode is for anyone living in community. Understanding your emotions transforms how you connect with others, at home and beyond. Tune in to hear how emotional awareness can change your relationships, and your life.

Whitney Goodman interviews psychologist Dr. Julie Fraga about her book "Parents Have Feelings Too." They discuss how parents can process their own emotions, break cycles of guilt and perfectionism, use the Change Triangle to understand their feelings, and teach emotional intelligence to their children—all while navigating the challenge of parenting differently than they were raised.

In this week’s episode, Kristen welcomes back Hilary Jacobs Hendel, award-winning author and psychotherapist, to discuss how parents can better understand their emotions, break unhealthy patterns, and raise emotionally healthy kids.

In today’s fast-paced world, change is the only constant. Yet, how do we truly understand, manage, and channel the emotions that accompany transformations, both personal and organizational? Whether you’re an individual seeking personal growth, or a leader aiming to steer an organization, understanding the emotional dimensions of change can be a game-changer.

“Emotions” like anxiety and depression are often cover emotions for deeper emotions like grief and anger – and working through our resistance to these emotions so we can arrive at our “core” emotions can help us access our calm, compassionate self. In this episode, I bring on emotions educator Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of “It’s Not Always Depression,” to give you tangible tools for working through anxiety and depression to have a richer emotional experience.

Guiding Yourself Towards Healthy and Happy Relationships with The Change Triangle: Hilary Jacobs Hendel

It’s so hard to feel your feelings—especially when you have all of them all at once, and it’s never a convenient time to process them. For the past year, we’ve all been stewing with anxiety, stress, anger, loneliness, grief, and fear. Ignoring our hard feelings might seem like the easiest way to cope and get relief—but it’s not the only option available to us.

This podcast shares ideas and concepts that are deeply human. In the podcast, we discuss holistic methodologies that help people heal and integrate the mind, body, and spirit. Through education, skills, and tools to work with emotions, we are empowered to overcome internal and external barriers and create a deeply meaningful existence.

"Depression and anxiety are not what you think they are, according to my guest. Often thought of as presenting problems in their own right, it might make more sense to think of them as clusters of symptoms deriving from underlying problems knowing and working with our core emotions.

This was a fantastic interview with the compelling Kye Plant, Host of the Feelin Weird Podcast. Kye opens up about his own trauma and recovery and steers us into the most important topics to consider for emotional wellbeing. For viewers who get triggered into feeling small or "not good enough" at times (all of us!), this segment will likely resonate.

Understanding our emotions is a fundamental requirement for personal and relationship growth. This episode provides tips on how to better understand your emotions, share with your partner and connect more deeply.

“Every single human has surely suffered with feeling invalidated for their emotions." Many of us have never really learned the true anatomy of our emotions. I explain in this episode how we build our lives around avoiding the true feeling of our emotions. For many of us, our early experiences with emotions involved being told to ‘get over it’ in one way or another.

If you listen to podcasts and are into personal growth, you'll love this show. I was honored to sit down in person in Los Angeles with host, comedian, and mental health advocate, Paul Gilmartin. The conversation is up close and personal, as we discussed our own struggles. And, of course, we talked about why it’s crucial to understand emotions to thrive in modern life and what you need to know that can make a big difference in your immediate wellbeing.

A live therapy demonstration, tips for handling jealousy and envy, and the challenges of allowing ourselves to feel big and proud are just some of the topics we covered in this podcast. Host and comedian Leo Flowers asked important questions relevant for us all. You will get many practical tips and quite a bit of new information in this episode. I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed sharing.

I was at the iconic Strand Bookstore last Wednesday (2/7/18) to kick off the launch of It's Not Always Depression, my new book sharing the goldmine of emotion education I learned in my trauma and emotion-centered psychotherapy training so it can help all people who want to feel better.

In this comprehensive hour long video, I share the origin of the Change Triangle, how it helps with anxiety, depression and more and why I am passionate about sharing it with others.

Author and therapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel takes us through the meaning and importance of emotions. Using the visual of a simple triangle, she teaches us how to interpret and manage them so that we can feel more calm, content and able to enjoy our lives.

Hillary Jacobs, author and psychotherapist, discusses the core emotions (sadness, anger, fear, disgust, joy, and excitement) and how we can educate ourselves about emotions to improve quality of life. Discover the role that your core emotions like joy, fear, sadness, or anger play in your life and what they might be telling you about what you should do for wellbeing and to thrive amidst life's many challenges. i=1000599098789

Hilary Jacobs Hendel on emotions, types of shame, and slowing down


Psychotherapist and author Hilary Jacobs Hendel shares her deep knowledge of emotions and how we can use the change triangle to get reacquainted with the ebb and flow of feelings, our defences, and inhibitory emotions.

In this episode of The Apparently Parent Podcast, I want to tell you about such a tool. It's called The Change Triangle and it was developed by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, who is a guest in this episode. In the episode, Hilary and I talk about the change triangle and how it can play a role in your lives as parents (and also as just human beings with emotions, kids or no kids).

Using the Power of Emotions to Heal Depression and Loneliness

AEDP, how emotions & trauma function, and how shame, depression, and anxiety act as adaptive states.

We also discuss emotion-phobic culture; laughter as a defense; feeling overwhelmed & dissociated; banishing parts of the self; repressing emotions; triggers; emotional neglect; "the body knows how to heal"; creating a sense of safety; and SO much more!

The mission for Close the Chapter Podcast is to help you through life’s transitions, navigate the hard and lonely times along the journey, learn helpful and powerful ways to cope with emotions and transitions, and empower you to discover the REAL you. In this episode, Kristen interviews me about using our emotions as a direct pathway to healing psychological suffering.This episode is to help you feel more calm, content, compassionate and connected.

The mission of The Barbershop Group is to create an emotionally safe space for men to discuss and address topics of mental health and wellbeing.

Men get a raw deal in our dysfunctional society. They are taught tender emotions like sadness and fear are weak. Men are taught it's weak to need love, friendship, soothing, tenderness in relationships, etc.

Recently I was interviewed by Eric Zimmer, host of the award-winning podcast The One You Feed. I think it is one of the best interviews on emotions I have done (she said humbly) so I am sharing it. Emotion education has so many benefits and we get none of this life-changing information in our formal schooling…yet. The Change Triangle is an invaluable tool for anyone with emotions — which is all of us — to meet the many emotional challenges of modern life.

"Beneath anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame, are core emotions that are hardwired into our circuitry. When you’re able to tap into the core emotions – and move through them – you’ll feel a new sense of freedom and empowerment – with the ability to handle anything that life sends your way.

I really enjoyed my time chatting with the young and energetic Ricardo Mirville. His new podcast The Internal Battle addresses the conflicts that hold as back from becoming our most confident selves.

I was so thrilled to be on The Karen Hunter Show on SiriusXM Radio on Wednesday (2/7/18). Click here to listen to a segment on wallowing in sadness. Karen Hunter, Cousin Syl, and I discuss grief and sadness. Karen doesn't like the idea of wallowing. But I try to help her understand the difference between wallowing and allowing ourselves to feel so we can heal. Important topic!

Listen to Mental Health News Radio. This podcast is on relationships, core emotions and trauma.

​

Listen to the Trauma Therapist podcast. I talk about AEDP, the emotion-centered, trauma and attachment-oriented psychotherapy I practice. We also talk about shame-based depression and what that means.

Listen to Esther Perel and me discuss how a basic education in emotions helps our relationships thrive and grow deeper.

A new podcast on core emotions and The Change Triangle